TED SETS HIS COMPUTER ON FIRE

I was working on my computer adding some memory. I took one of my old memory cards out and then put it back in. I must have put it back in incorrectly because when I started the computer up again I heard a whirrrrr and a clacckkkkkkkk and then smelled the overpowering stench of burning knowlege and pornography. I quickly yanked the cord out of the back of OL' smoky and surveyed the stinking damage. There wasn't too much, just a burning and melting memory port.
As I sit here on my toilet writing this on a blackberry, I think of all the wonderful hours I completely wasted on my computer and how I miss neglecting my kids so I can peruse naked women and learn odd facts from cracked.com.
I may buy a new computer this weekend or maybe I'll just stay off the grid and live life the way we used to before all of this intrusive technology. Maybe I'll go back to living a simpler existence away from the over bearing and constant noise of cyber space. Maybe I'll just go back to doing what I used to do before the computer. Maybe I'll just think about the chicks I know and jerk off to them.